Facebook envy

I wish I was Facebook.

Everyone would skip class to come hang out with me.
Everyone would tell me their problems,
and it's only official if it comes through me.
My games wouldn't have to be fun;
people would still want to play anyway.
I would always be invited to the coolest events.
I'd have an ongoing stream of photo memories, never to be forgotten.
You're only cool if you're my friend;
you're even cooler if you snuck behind your parents back to do so.
You're bound to like me sooner or later,
and we'd always have lots of common interests.
I'd know every language,
and I'd travel the world on a daily basis.
I could change time zones to fit my need,
and I could endorse whatever I wanted.

If I was Facebook,
this would be a note, not a blog.